Thoughts from the bumpy roads of marriage

From the outside looking in everything looks prim and proper... people have told me that they wished so much that they could find a relationship similar to the one Robby and I share. But if they knew the trials that Robby and I have faced and overcome and the trials we face each day that sometimes seem relentless and constant, they might think differently. See it's not that we don't love each other or have a strong enough marriage to withstand trial and hardship...evidently we do because we're still married 8 long years later... it's that we choose not to give into what might seem like an easy fix... divorce. I shutter at the word, the thought, the definition behind the word. I can't imagine my family broken into tiny little pieces, scatter here and there for everyone to peck at. I can't imagine what my life would be like without Robby as my partner. I can't imagine having to ship my kids off for the weekend or every other week for week for a shared custody arrangement. Those things are just the tip of the divorce iceberg and I refuse to see our life in that manner. Robby and I have been married 8 years, but we feel like it's been 20 years! Putting the "cart before the horse" will make it feel that way, but there's a huge initial commitment vowed that bound our marriage together more permanently than any super glue... "no matter what, divorce will NEVER be an option". We both agreed that we just don't believe in throwing in the towel. We're in it for the long haul...according to the vows "for better or worse". There have been many, more than enough, "better" times. More so than the "worse" times, but sometimes the "worse" times seem to linger and be more memorable than the "better" times. I know it's so cliche to say "give your marriage to God" but if you think about it, who else has a better grasp on how a "marriage" or relationship should look or actually "be"? Wasn't it God that created the first union? Wasn't it God that said "he who finds a good wife obtains favor from the Lord"? Of course if a wife finds a good husband they'll have favor too... but that's another blog... I can't imagine that God hasn't known the heart of myself and my husband for the last 8 years... after all, he's known my heart from the day I prayed for Him to send me a "partner" that I would know was from Him.He's probably looked down at us and shook his head more times than I'd like to admit, but he's never failed to keep our marriage on the path he's planned for us, and because we chose to give our marriage back to him. A marriage can't be secured, solidified and maintained properly without the counsel of the creator of marriage Himself. Without it's creator, it's doomed.  Marriage is definitely a bumpy road, similar to that of the relationship we hold with our heavenly father, but a marriage in which our heavenly father is center will withstand all of the bumps!

Thank you Lord for the bumps...thank you that these bumps help us to reflect on where we've come from and how much good has come as a result of your presence during the hard and bumpy times. Lord, I pray that you'll always be the center of my marriage and every marriage that's bound in heaven by you. I pray you'll help the wives and the husbands see and feel the needs of each other and when they need counsel they'll seek you first. Father I ask that you bless each wife and each husband as they call out to you Lord during they're "bumpy" times and that they'll remember you during the "better" times. Thank you, Father for the union I have with my husband. In Jesus name... Amen.

To push or not to push... this is the question

My sons been playing baseball since he was 4 or so... he started in Tball and graduated to pitching machine last season. He like baseball or so we thought. He would say yes he liked it and then would turn around and say "I only play cause my daddy makes me." The first time he said that my husband laughed it off saying our son was tired and hot and in a bad mood cause he didn't feel like practicing. But it kind of struck a deep down motherly type chord that felt way out of tune. He continued to play and continued to have the same attitude about practicing and playing (some) games. I began to worry that we were making him do something he really truely didn't want to do, but my husband really believed that our son was just frustrated cause practices hadn't gone the way he wanted them to go or because he was being lazy and didn't want to get up and go. This last season, nearly 4 years later, we decided to let our son make the decision to quit baseball. He kept making the comment that he wanted to try football and that he liked playing soccer. We reluctantly allowed him to sign up for football (he's played soccer before and while he did great with soccer, we thought it would be wise to let him try a sport he'd not tried before). Tonight was his first practice and much to our surprise he did exceptionally well. The only hiccup he had the whole time was the mouth guard, which he's been trying to tell us for three days now, choking him. He started to cry; typical for our kid... he's a softy and needs to get past the emotional outbursts. I could hear my husband scolding him trying to get him to toughen up and stop the crying but I wondered if it was because our son needed to stop crying or if it was because my husband was embarrassed that our little football player was boohooing in front of everyone. I mean, if there's not crying in baseball there sure as heck isn't any crying in football, right??  Our son isn't built like a machine, is actually right on target for height, is a tiny bit under weight (he doesn't eat a lot of meat) and is a softy at heart. So with all that in mind, the question has posed itself... do we push him and push him until he toughens up, or is this a kid that needs to be left to figure it out for himself? Does he need to try everything until he finds what makes him happy? Do we let him jump from sport to sport until he makes up his mind? Or do we push him to stick with one or two (season rotating sports) options and if so, for how long? What parent wants to shove something down their kids throat that they don't like? Isn't it just our responsibility to let them have the options and taste all the flavors so they can decide for themselves? Aren't we supposed to push our kids until their limit is either reached or until they finally have a break through and take off on their own full sprint?? 

To Push or Not to Push... this is the question.